Standard of frienship

Standard of Friendship
When people seek friendships what do they really want from one another? Do they want validation for those things which they doubt and inwhich they think they might be in error? When they achieve total agreement in others do they find it boring and then seek challenge? Oncethey find someone who challenges them do they then feel inferior and long once more for a relationship that is based on agreement?
People are random, chaotic creatures.They are insecure no matter how much confidence they put forth or how much they appear to be bragging on themselves. To assume anyone likes themselves is a first mistake of the first order. The chaoticnature of human awareness means that anybody might do anything at any time for any millions of unfathomable reasons completely unrelated to, yet at the same time, directed at you . The question remains: what do people want from one another?
Anyone who has spent time with people who tend to take things personally knows to expect emotional surprises. Any happy moment has a potential sudden storm at its center with such people around. If you happen to be in a group where there are several such people you will experience very little peace since on one day one person might be edgy and on a different day it could be another person. It is a randomly chaotic game with elaborate rules which seem to be constantly rewritten. You may find yourself alternating between trying to understand the situation and simply withdrawing and nodding in agreement just to escape the trap. But the real trap is that people treat you according to their own mood and situation rather than based on something you are doing or did. You can do the same thing one day as another, yet on one day it was okay and the next time it was an "offense"of some sort.
I have experienced these emotional games and I don't like them, so I do my best not to participate. This in itself has been interpreted as rejection or coldness, putting me in a game within a game. I don't like feeling that my words and actions are under a microscope or that there is a certain way that is the right or wrong way to be. Sometimes people seem to want to set the standard of what is "just right" regarding the amount of emotion expressed or the number of times invitations are exchanged. In addition, they may take advantage of closeness by analyzing your personality and tellingyou what and how you feel (or seem ) and the reason for it.
If you can't do what you would normally do or say what you would normally say without it somehow being a "problem" then it becomes a game of "try to figure out what it is okay to do or be or say and what it isNOT okay to do or say or be". It is a game because everybody has a different idea of what a person"should" do or say. It is an expectation game and the expectation is that the other person will or should do what you would do in the same circumstance. But the other person is not you and does things differently...not "wrongly" but"differently". What do people really want from one another? Something like true acceptance I think. They want to be taken as they are withoutbeing measured by some other ever-changing standard.
Nobody is perfect which means that every person you have a relationship with will have flaws. And you can't change other people, nor should you try. This makes the formula for friendship simple. If someones'"good" qualities make it worth it to you to put up with their "bad" traits, keep that relationship. If the reverse is true, don't fret over it, don't try to change them. Realize that you and that person are not compatible and allow yourself and them to walk away. Unlike family, we really do choose the friends we keep in our lives. The standard is different. We are under no obligation to make things work that really aren't working naturally. There is little reason to add frustration to your life. That is not what friends are for. Don'ttry to grow bananas in Boston. Love really does mean never having to say you're sorry or apologize for who and what you are..